


Begin Again

by colorofmymind



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Multi, Robby's Birthday Present!, Temporary Character Death, contains Olicity, don't worry it's temporary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 07:25:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6109432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorofmymind/pseuds/colorofmymind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe it derived from a shared emotional vulnerability. Maybe they couldn’t have the girl but they could just have each other, just this once." </p>
<p>Barry and Oliver have always valued their partnership, but one night feelings give way to exploring the true nature of that relationship to its full extent, only to have everything they learned to be erased by creating an alternative timeline. Oliver doesn't remember but Barry vividly does, wishing to forget a world, a time and place that never really was. </p>
<p>Set during and after Legends of Today.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starrxlorrd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrxlorrd/gifts).



> This story is really being written for my fellow trash squad member Robby whose birthday was this past Monday. Happy belated birthday Robby! I hope you can forgive me for the delay, but the rest of these chapters will be coming out regularly, I promise.  
> So yes, this story is a little bit different from the normal fluff pieces I write, but I wanted to give it a shot anyway. The Olicity breakup in this past crossover was utterly delightful for me and now that it's permanent in Arrow more recently I couldn't be happier. The most recent breakup reminded me of this idea I'd had after watching the crossover. Just so everyone knows, I'll be using past tense throughout when discussing the original timeline and present tense when it transitions into the alternate one Barry accidentally created. I'll probably be adding more tags and maybe up the rating depending on the edits I make to the next two chapters so just also keep that in mind.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

It had been hours since they had last seen Oliver. Caitlin and Cisco had been preoccupying themselves with the gauntlets while Felicity, Barry had noticed, seemed particularly on edge. The IT expert tightly held the test results he had run earlier for Oliver in her hands, something he knew, looking back, he shouldn’t have handed over so easily. Felicity had always been so open and one of his best friends—how could he deny her when really the results should have been something related to Darhk, something she should maybe be in-the-know on? As the minutes agonizingly ticked by and Felicity kept crinkling and smoothing the folds of the paper the more he had become certain that maybe he shouldn’t have even run the test in the first place.

Barry could tell himself, as he had for many months, that his anxiety regarding the archer’s unknown location and condition stemmed from the purely practical reason that Savage’s deadline was near approaching and he needed Oliver there for the plan to work. That was just the thing though, Barry thought bitterly, hating the fact that his heart always acted before his brain could intervene—him, a scientist, of all people, ironically enough.

Barry was well aware of his attraction towards Oliver Queen, that attraction making him nearly as worried as Oliver Queen’s girlfriend, sitting in the armchair just opposite him. He ran his hands over his face at the reminder of that, because he should really stop being interested in people who were already taken. Like Barry had ever had a chance with Iris or Oliver in the first place. And that was the exact line of thinking that led him to losing both of them to better people, Eddie and Felicity. Eddie had been the man Iris deserved and Felicity was the woman Oliver deserved. Anymore thinking on the subject would lead him to doing something stupid then with Oliver which would have to be explained away by Caitlin as long-term lightning psychosis.

“Barry?”

He perked up at the blonde’s use of his name, immediately dropping the hands that he subconsciously left cupping both his nose and mouth.

“Yeah, Felicity?”

“Well it’s just…you looked worried,” she started until her eyebrows furrowed together and her somewhat concerned expression was instantly replaced with a frown. “Which of course you would be because of the deal with Savage. I can’t believe he’s been gone this long! Especially when we have a mission and he told no one where he was _really_ going.”

His friend rose determinedly from the chair, grabbing her white peacoat from the closet and fumbled with her fingers as she worked each button to its adjacent hole with much agitation. Barry, who had been leaning against the wall, leapt up and followed the quickening pace of flats tapping against the hardwood floor.

“Felicity, where are you going?” The face he was met with didn’t inspire a positive answer.

She said hurriedly, “I’m going to look for Oliver. I know what I’m doing, Barry.”

He blinked as the front door slammed shut in his face. Maybe it was best that Felicity look for Oliver anyway; he probably needed to check in with Cisco, Caitlin and all of the others anyway. Worst came to worst—he’d have to make the deal with Savage, Kendra and Carter on his own. After checking in with the team, Cisco felt pretty confident about the gauntlets and whatever training Carter had given Kendra that day would have to suffice, but the former barista seemed more comfortable with her abilities than she had been yesterday. Caught up in the success of his team’s work, Barry had nearly forgotten about Felicity’s tense exit until Diggle spoke up.

“So has anyone seen Felicity or Oliver around? Since Barry and Oliver met up with Savage, he’s going to be expecting both of them to be there at the drop-off point,” he pointed out.

“I could try calling—” Thea started but Barry cut her off.

“Felicity tried contacting him earlier, I think. She said she was going to go look for him, so I’ll just look around. If they’re not in the immediate area I’m probably the one who could find them the fastest.”

The others slowly nodded in agreement, and Barry took that as permission to leave. After slinging his arms through his black jacket, he twisted the knob, heading out the door before pausing on the porch at the scene playing out before him. Oliver and Felicity were standing on the walk, Felicity’s back facing Barry but it was only her voice that he heard. The sharpness of Felicity’s tone reached his ears first before the words really sunk in. _“And how can I be with someone who doesn’t trust me?”_

Barry Allen was witnessing the breakup of Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen.

The older man said nothing, his eyes still and trained on Felicity. It was only when she silently turned away from him and left that a barely audible whisper of her name escaped Oliver’s lips.

Barry knew he shouldn’t be here, that this was a private moment he had stumbled upon by accident, so he asked possibly the dumbest question he could possibly ask.

“Are you guys okay?”

Oliver didn’t respond, seeming as though he was staring at nothing. At that Barry descended the porch steps, now standing in front of the older man.

“Oliver?” He questioned again, with more force behind it. “What happened?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Oliver dismissed quickly, making for the steps.

“You don’t seem fine,” Barry called out firmly behind the other man. Oliver stopped in his movements, turning around to face Barry. “You seem out of it.”

“It’s been a long day, Barry,” the older man admitted with a heavy sigh.

Barry regarded him carefully, noting the despondency etched into the man’s features, his darkened eyes holding just a certain…tiredness to them. It was the kind of look that Barry had always been taught to respond to by reaching out, touching, but he knew that was a boundary with Oliver he couldn’t cross.

“Do you think—do you think you’re ready for this?” Barry almost immediately regretted the question as soon as it left his mouth.

“What?” The archer snapped, tone still hoarse but all the while more irritated.

“I mean, for the mission. We have a lot of people here Oliver; I get if you don’t feel up for this,” he reassured. The offer was met with a grimace at best.

“Barry, whatever you saw with me and Felicity, it’s not going to impact my performance out in the field,” Oliver stubbornly insisted.

“I know if _I_ had…well, if a relationship I was in had just ended and I found out I had a son,” Barry stopped momentarily at Oliver’s mildly shocked expression. “Oliver, I ran the DNA test, and I’ve done hundreds of those. It was easy enough after a while to tell that it wasn’t related to Darhk. What I’m trying to say is it’s okay if you need to process…all of that.”

Something in Oliver’s expression visibly changed. It was still mostly unreadable, but the tension set square in his shoulders seemed to lift, and Barry took that as a good sign.

“I trust you, Barry. I gave you the test results knowing that you could easily figure out what they meant, and that didn’t even…bother me that _you_ would know.”

Whatever conflict Oliver was sorting through was clearly displayed on his face, equal parts confusion and distress—both results Barry had not wanted.

“Ollie,” he started. Any thoughts he planned to put into words never made it from his brain to mouth because what was Oliver actually saying?

The archer advanced more towards Barry, expression and meaning once again unreadable.

“Is everyone inside?”

The sudden jolt in conversation threw him off guard, but somehow the way Oliver said it made it seem almost as though it was intentional or somehow related.

Barry answered, “Yeah, actually. Ollie, you really don’t seem—”

“I’m going with you, Barry,” the older man dismissed quickly. “I just…could you do me one more favor before we go inside?”

“Anything.” The reply was given without hesitation. Oliver was acting _strange_ around him right now, but that in no way diminished the reverence he had for the hero standing before him.

“Okay,” Oliver replied quietly and swallowed thickly. Barry watched the man’s Adam’s apple bob up then down in his throat. Oliver took a few more steps forward, and there was barely any distance between the two of them. Barry just stood numbly as Oliver raised a hand to his cheek, adding the lightest of pressures into the touch. He fought between the impulse to lean into the feeling of the man’s calloused fingers against the smoothness of his skin and figuring out what exactly was happening.

“Barry, you need to tell me if this is okay.”

With the nature of his powers, he could see it coming, but it didn’t feel real until there were lips upon his own. Barry didn’t pull away and didn’t initiate on his own, just reveling in the feel of Oliver slowly and cautiously starting to suck on his bottom lip. This moment had always been pictured in his mind, in dreams—Oliver and him together like this, partners beyond the crimes and the conversations and the guise of friendship, but Barry’s fantasies had lately moved beyond this chaste, wonderful kiss to where their tongues intermingled and Oliver’s body was exposed to him not on an exam table but on a _bed_ —but the heat flushed to his cheeks recalling those details so he focused his attention on the reality of the succulent pair of lips pressed against his, the other man’s scruff scratching against his own bare chin.

He started moving his lips against Oliver’s more earnestly, smiling into their kiss as the older man easily slid an arm around Barry’s waist, pulling him in closer. Despite the increasing erracticness of it all, from Oliver moving from Barry’s mouth to his throat to him clinging to the man’s broad back, fisting his hands in Oliver’s jacket because he was nearly going weak in the knees, there was thought behind the passion. Words between them forgotten and abandoned, replaced by series of soft grunts and groans, a sense of desperation, hell, Barry even thought love was communicated between them. Maybe it derived from a shared emotional vulnerability. Maybe they couldn’t have the girl but they could just have each other, just this once.

The front door opened unbeknownst to their unprying eyes, but Cisco calling out his name immediately snapped him out of the haze of everything, even as he was making his erection known against Oliver’s thigh. He sent Oliver a panicked look, but the older man shot him at best a look of _he’s your problem_. Sighing at his partner’s usual stubborn countenance, he leaned in awkwardly speed-pecking the archer on the lips, not quite knowing what they were anymore, before darting out from the side of the house where they had somehow managed to wander to, confronting Cisco (albeit he positioned himself behind the railing in what he hoped was not a conspicuous way).  

“Hey, dude, did you find Oliver? Savage’s deadline is coming up,” his best friend said grimly. His heart went out to the engineer. Barry honestly didn’t know how he’d react if someone came along saying that a person he was dating was their reincarnated lover all because of an immortal sociopath. Yet again, he couldn’t even define the extent of his and Oliver’s relationship anymore, but that didn’t bother him as much as it should.

“Yeah, I did. Let me just get him, and we’ll get ready. How’s Kendra?”

Cisco’s face seemed to soften at the mention of the woman in question’s name. He sighed deeply before answering. “I haven’t been able to talk with her that much today because everything between Carter and her has to be _private_ or something,” Cisco more muttered the last bit of the sentence under his breath but cleared his throat afterward, seeming to want to move on from the subject. “I’ll just let everyone inside know.”

“Yeah, okay,” he agreed. It was only when Cisco reentered the house that he zipped back over to where Oliver was supposed to be but wasn’t.

“Barry,” the man’s voice called from behind. The archer stood leather-clad in his green suit that had way too short of sleeves to keep the older man remotely warm no matter what Oliver said otherwise and exposed his impressive biceps. “Get Kendra and Carter. And suit up.”

Barry narrowed his eyes, unsure of his partner’s idea. “You don’t want to call anyone else in on this?”

“It’s not necessary; we can handle this mission on our own,” the older man strongly affirmed. “Unless you think otherwise.”

“No, it’s just…I’ll just get Kendra and Carter,” he said, shaking his head of his concerns. Of course they could handle themselves. Barry was sure of it if Oliver thought they would be prepared. The idle thoughts of Oliver that had just been renewed by the fact they had actually just kissed he tried to shelve in the recesses of his mind.

“Barry, uh,” his partner cleared his throat before continuing: “We’ll talk later.”

He nodded quickly, not trusting the words to come out right.

***

The memory burns in his mind. Each time he recalls it, it furrows deeper into his mind until remembering the blue light from the staff no longer stings his eyes and the image of Oliver obliterated in a single moment is just as clear as the city’s streets he’s running on, soon to suffer the same fate as the man he loves. Oliver had told him to run, something he knows, looking back, he shouldn’t have given into so easily. Something had kept him rooted to the spot, unable to pry his eyes as the fire swallowed everything of the Green Arrow—skin, flesh and bone—leaving nothing.   

Tears pool at the corners of Barry’s eyes, blurring the path before him. He’s not controlling his speed, he can’t, he just needs to get away from here. As his past double appears beside him, he almost manages a smile and increases his determination, running towards a new past.

The speedster almost is able to forget the rule that nothing must be changed, even in this new, alternative timeline. At least he’ll be able to give his goodbyes to his family, friends—his almost lover.

 

 

 

 

                  


End file.
